So, I had my first ever "vending" attempt. I spent soooo much time preparing and made sure everything was ready and set up as best as can be (on a bit of a short notice even). I was better prepared than the girl who vended with me, but she was selling things that better suited the event. It was for belly dancers, a swap and shop. But we thought maybe a little something different would be a good thing, make some sales to them for things outside of the realm of just their dance. It was a total flop. Not one sale, only one inquiry and a couple of quick walk by looks. It was frustrating. I went in pretty much expecting to not make any real sales, I thought I might at least sell a few of my hemp bracelets at least tho. But nope, not one single solitary effin sale.
There are times when I really wonder if I am blind or something. I have insecurities of all sorts, but being told over and over that your stuff looks good but then not being able to get sales makes that hard. Makes me understand how paranoia works that is for sure. I wonder what people say when I'm not there to hear it. Wonder if people are "just being nice" ... I wonder if the reason I have had sales were out of pitty (since I've never really sold anything to a stranger myself). Tho I did have sales one year via a friend who took my jewelry to his work, that was the one and only time I really felt successful. More than one sale and they didn't know who I was. Not saying that I don't appreciate friends and family buying my creations, and I hope they continue, as long as its being done for the right reasons.
Anyways... Thanks to hours and hours of work and stress over this past week and the fail of yesterday (and the physical stress of that as well) ... Today I had a bad brain day. Ugh. It would be so much easier to not be consumed by this if it didn't consume my life. Just want to be the me I used to be and that me is know longer me. - Being active and junk kicks off a domino effect of seizure activity and residuals ... a vicious effin circle of them. Then... OMG ... forgot a dose and double that shit all that by 5. Those who know me understand what I'm talking about, for those who don't, it's what life is like without "Pynki" (brain tumor).