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About Varied / Hobbyist Premium Member Pamela S Keller45/Female/United States Groups :iconjewelryshowcase: JewelryShowcase
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THIS is NOT my HOME

Journal Entry: Fri Aug 1, 2014, 11:05 AM
This is not my home, this is a place where my stuff is located, a place where I sleep, a place where I eat, but THIS is not my home! 

It's not about whether or not all my belongings are put in place, or how I decorate.  It's where I am not that makes this wrong.  My heart is elsewhere, my dreams are destroyed, my hopes are gone, my future is now an empty place in the space around me. 

In this life I have succeeded at very little and the one thing I seem to have succeed at the best is being alone.  No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I love, no matter how much I give, no matter who I trust, I always end up... alone.  I am broken inside and out.  I'm tired and I am alone.  

Yes I'll make it through another day, I'll live through all of the heartache and pain again.  But when will it end?  I asked a million times over why did I survive my surgery, to only have lived the last seven years fighting to hold on to what was not meant to be.  I got my "two minutes" it was short and sweet and is now gone, never to be again. 

I want to dip my heart in hot steel and seal it up forever, never to give... never to receive... never to hurt so deeply again. 

My home... was with him, my home was there, in the house we bought to spend the rest of our lives in, the house where I planned our future days.  Not this apartment that is holding my stuff, where the silence is deafening and the rooms are empty space no matter how much stuff I put in them.  I can talk to walls, they may even listen... but they do not laugh at my follies nor do they show enthusiasm in things I show or do.  They are just walls, holding up the space between the floor and the ceiling.  So though they may protect me, they do not comfort me.

I do not want to be here... but this is where I am.... and I guess it is where I am meant to be.... alone.

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cybelemoon's Profile Picture
cybelemoon
Pamela S Keller
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I AM:
I am a little kid trapped in a middle aged body.
I am a brain tumor survivor.
I am a mother and a friend.
I am an artist.
I am a creator of many things.
I am a lover of all art forms.
I am a poet. (None submitted here at this time).
I am who I became to be. (Final line from one of my poems.)

*
Current Residence: DFW, Texas USA

*

Personal Quote: Ko muhuhok na mik aqa nop! - (When it falls on your head, then you are knowing it is a rock!)

Please check out my online shop to see what creations are available for purchase!!!
Interests

When you purchase jewelry, what do you buy for yourself? 

31%
9 deviants said Earrings?
28%
8 deviants said A necklace?
10%
3 deviants said A bracelet?
7%
2 deviants said Rings?
7%
2 deviants said All the above.
7%
2 deviants said You don't like jewelry!
3%
1 deviant said Matching Necklace and Bracelet?
3%
1 deviant said Matching Necklace and Earrings?
3%
1 deviant said Other (leave a comment!)
0%
No deviants said Matching Necklace, earrings and bracelet?

My DA Group Jewelry Showcase!

SO... I got the group up and running and so far all is working smoothing!!! :happybounce:

:bulletpurple: :bulletblue: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :iconjewelryshowcase: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :bulletpurple: :bulletblue: :bulletblue:

I hope you all will come check it, watch and join if you want as well! :happybounce:

:bulletpurple: :bulletblue: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :woohoo::woohoo::woohoo: :iconjewelryshowcase: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :bulletpurple: :bulletblue: :bulletblue:

I'm so excited because I've already gotten members and posts and submissions! :happybounce:

:bulletpurple: :bulletblue: :bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :iconjewelryshowcase: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :bulletpurple: :bulletblue: :bulletblue:

Okay, so what do you think of the avatar design???????? (think I put it up there enough? LOL :giggle:

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:iconbear48:
bear48 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional
Thank you for adding "The Leaping Muse" to your favorites

I think it says a lot about how I think
Reply
:iconeresaw:
eReSaW Featured By Owner 1 day ago
thanks for faving :hug:
Reply
:iconbichobolita:
BichoBolita Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Professional Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the fave on my Tolkien pendant!!!
 Love #6
Reply
:iconcreating2smile:
Creating2smile Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Professional General Artist
Thank you for helping. Hug 
Reply
:iconwaynebenedet:
WayneBenedet Featured By Owner 6 days ago
Thank you for the :+fav: Pam
Reply
:iconmandala-jim:
Mandala-Jim Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for faving my work! :D
Reply
:iconrelhom:
relhom Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:
Reply
:iconelehanne:
Elehanne Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Hi dear ^___^ and thank you a lllama-lot for the :+fav: on my handmade necklace "Pink Kokoro"
Reply
:iconjocaps:
JOCAPS Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2014
Hi Pam!
Thanks for your fav on this last Dance!
hugs
j
Reply
:iconmemysandi:
memysandi Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Student Artist
Thank you for the :+fav: : )
Reply
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