Still Moving Forward

Jul 20, 20154 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: Jul 20, 2015

1.1K Views

SO, decided to change things up a bit in the journal entry today.
I'm fighting motivation, how how how do I get this energy back?

I want to get stuff done, I want to create jewelry, I want to work more on art, but there is this weird force holding me back and I can't figure out how to fight it. Any ideas?

I have a move to ABQ, NM coming up. I have two trips at the beginning of August to make and well not sure if I will get the other two in. Money is an issue there as is my driving long distances alone.

Recently my emotions have been tested to the full extent and this past week changed from one type to another. Betrayal and flat out ANGER, finding out things that were hidden from me in the past and realizing in black and white just the reality of it. I don't like the word hate, but I truly felt HATE towards this person this past weekend. My emotions started downhill on Wednesday then by Saturday went full force into the hate. I've been home bound for three days and today I have no choice but to leave and go to the store.

Being alone ALL the time is my worst enemy. I'm not meant to be alone, I'm a social person, but no one visits me and everyone else has a life or is a couple or whatever. I'm emotionally tired.

SO I'm going to go backwards in a way to remind myself of where I need to be. With that I'm linking my "theme songs" for myself (again) to get me thru my days and build myself up etc. Together they created my MOTTO(which I had forgotten): "I'm gonna find that brand new me. It’s gonna be a new dawn, a new day and a new life. I'm gonna feel good, and he's gonna miss me when I'm gone! And I will be brave!" (and yeah I like Carly Rose Soneclar's versions better!)